Toxic positivity???

We all know those people who sneeze rainbows and sunshine, who can turn lemons into a banana split and who can really get under your skin because they ooze positivity. I am, unashamedly, one of those people. As someone who experiences the effects of several chronic illnesses daily, on top of a nice helping of anxiety, positivity is my only option because pessimism and negativity can easily spiral out of control .

Each day, I post something positive to think about, live for, or a goal to achieve. I encourage people to count their blessings, to expect negative moments and challenges but to focus on the positive. I live by my own words ; these daily doses of positivity are just as much for my own reminders (if not more so) as for my friends and followers.

As someone who is often in pain or experiencing “a moment,” I have learned not to let these “moments,” define my days. I often tell people who face chronic conditions or mental issues to focus on thinking more along the lines of having bad moments, but not bad days. If a bad morning defines the rest of the day, you may never have a good day. Some days are rougher, when you lie in bed at night and count your blessings, one of them is that the day is behind you. And yes, it is important at some point each day to take a moment and really obsess and feel grateful for all of those positive moments- whether it was a beautiful sunrise (cheesy, perhaps, but that experience was still a positive one), the laughter from a zoom convo with an old friend, or discovering a new bag of jellybeans in the back of the pantry (hey, we all have our addictions, don’t judge), these little moments made you happy and are worth remembering, especially on the days that feel like you had a lot of bad moments.

I have said it before, as humans, we are conditioned to focus on the negative experiences and things in life but we can rewrite that program and recondition ourselves to pay more attention to the positives. If you can hone your energy and time into dwelling on the positive moments, the happy bits that were woven into your day, even the small experiences that carried you through and broke up the bad moments, then you can slowly channel your thinking into focusing on that positive more and more and downplaying the negative. When you sit and stew about your situation, your challenges, and the things that are holding you back (which everyone experiences), you are more likely to feel worse (mentally and physically). Find some small, achievable goals and work a little on tackling them, even the smallest step in the right direction is worth celebrating and doting on.

To the person who called me out on being depressingly positive, I am sorry/not sorry. This is MY coping skill, this is how I get through my days without falling into the depths of despair and losing myself amid the pain or anxiety. We can’t choose what we face, but we CAN choose how we react or how we interpret our challenges.

No matter what you think, you are not alone, you are not the first person to experience what you are going through. Find your strength, find your positive, find your support (even if YOU are your own support).